Why does it seem that those with the most difficulty in loving themselves are also the most sensitive and caring among us?
Part of the answer to this question has to do with the circumstances and conditioning which occur during childhood but perhaps a larger contributing factor is personality type.
As a general rule, Feeling types are more sensitive than Thinkers for obvious reasons. Intuitive types are generally more sensitive than Sensory types due to their use of imagination and sixth sense. Introverts engage in much more introspection and self-evaluation than Extroverts which makes them more sensitive. Combine these traits and you have what is known as a Highly Sensitive Person. HSP’s are often highly critical of themselves and tend to “absorb” the negative energy of those around them.
Our Ego tries to make sense of the world around us and protect us from perceived danger. The Ego is susceptible to Negative Energy due to its dependence on the physical and material realm. Social conditioning along with circumstances such as conflict and trauma lead to irrational beliefs and negative emotions such as fear, anxiety, self-rejection, fear of rejection and a host of others. In order to love yourself you will have to embark on a journey of Acceptance and Surrender of the Ego.
Love is a Positive Principle of the Universe. Love, by its nature, engages with others, gives to others, shares with others and helps others. However, this cannot be done when someone suffers from a lack of self-love. They will always be hiding their perceived deficiency while seeking validation from external sources. There is only one Source of Love and Its connection is within.
Love must go beyond the externally-focused behavior of the Ego. In order to love ourselves, we must engage our Spirit, align with Positive Energy and dethrone our Ego with all of its defense mechanisms, substitutions and irrational beliefs. No matter what horrific crimes we may have committed from our twisted, wounded Ego, our spiritual being is innocent and connected to the Positive Principles of the Universe. Most people feel a sense of guilt and shame for nothing they have done in the past. Regardless, our worth and value is not determined by our behavior but by our Spirit. We always have access to the Positive Principles of Justice, Healing, Redemption and Serenity which can be ministered to our Egos through our own Spirit.
Dethroning the Ego and dismantling the tangle of irrational beliefs, social conditioning, substitutions for unmet needs and self defense mechanisms can be a long, grueling process. When we have maintained a belief system for so long, no matter how irrational, simply walking away is not possible. One will need to surrender to Truth and find loving and caring support in order to successfully complete the journey. This can even take the form of online support through social media or Tarot Readings over long distances. Whatever the case, the seeker will have to be completely honest, at least with him or herself, and be willing to surrender completely to the healing process.
The journey will require Trust, which for some is in itself extremely difficult. It is trusting that there is a Higher Power, and that this Higher Power is Love. It is trusting that this same Energy is the One that insures all living things receive what they need to survive. It is trusting that you are as deserving as any other creation of a life of abundance, purpose and fulfillment and that no matter what has happened in the past, your future is full of Hope, promise and potential. Things will have to change. You will have to step out of your Ego and into your Spirit. Your Ego will fiercely resist at times. But really, what choice do you have? In the end, it isn’t about choice, it’s all about Surrender. And Surrender is about Enlightenment! You either get it or you don’t. The good thing is, the only thing required to “get it” is desire.