Liberation

Finally the day arrives when you realize freedom from your Ego. All of the hard work, the mental anguish of fighting resistance, overthinking, negativity, fear, anxiety and self doubt come to an end. The persistence of positive affirmations, repeating the Truth, believing in your authentic Self and listening to Intuition finally pays off.

It arrives as an awareness; subtle, but very real. The nagging, critical voice has been mostly gone but effort had to be maintained to keep it in check. There had been a cloud, a persistent depressing feeling because circumstances weren’t optimal and the Ego wasn’t “comfortable”. The Ego is in a permanent state of resistance and attracts Negative Energy.

One morning, you realize that you don’t wake up with the grumps. The depressing cloud is gone. It isn’t just “absent” like it has been on other occasions. It is completely gone. You had been practicing “loving yourself” and seeing yourself as a marvelous creation with limitless potential. Now, this morning, the Truth has settled in. You are finally “Self Aware”, without doubt, without fear, without discontent.

It is a feeling of power. It isn’t as much “exhilaration” as it is satisfaction. Its like watching someone come to a slow realization that something they had been working on for so long, with the knowledge that it would eventually happen, occurred when they weren’t looking. In my case though, it had been so exhausting that I was too tired to celebrate, along with the fact that I wanted to be sure it was going to stick around this time, even though there was an underlying assurance that this was permanent. I could tell it was different by the marked absence of an attachment to “the past”.

Something that had preceded this event was an acceptance of my ADHD (inattentive type). Whether it is a disorder, an orientation or a Life Path, my Ego had to deal with it and it basically hid it “in the basement” when I was a child. I had worn the mask of conformity and abandoned my True Self. Somehow, this acceptance ended the war that I had waged with myself all of my life, trying to prove that I was worthy while believing I was flawed.

My readings confirmed that a change had taken place and I allowed the rain to fall and wash away the pain of the past as mentioned in the videos above. I am certain there will be more battles and I will have to confront beliefs from the past but a cycle has ended. A new one begins. I still have a lot of unanswered questions but now I know that the answers are waiting.