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The Sacred Fool

This site is dedicated to The Fool’s journey as depicted in the Tarot. It was inspired by an Oracle card written by Alana Fairchild called The Sacred Fool. We are all on a Fool’s Journey in an attempt to discover our True, Authentic Self and overcome the obstacles that hinder us from living a life of Abundance and personal fulfillment.

The sacred fool in you is willing to leave behind what has been because it no longer feels right to stay attached to it. The sacred fool in you trusts life completely. It would never occur to this part of you to try and outsmart life or resist its flow. It recognizes that the mind is a monkey puppet on strings. More often than not, it is cajoled into fear when it could be playfully dwelling in the radical spontaneity of life. So, the sacred fool in you urges your mind to let itself be pulled into joy by your heart strings not into fear and doubt by the controlling machines of mass media.

For the newest articles, click here and scroll down. The following articles are in a logical sequence for starting your journey.

  1. What Does It Mean to Love Yourself? Your first objective is to start loving yourself. No matter what has happened to you or what you’ve done in the past you must realize that you are worthy of Love and you must defeat all lies to the contrary.
  2. The Ego: Your own worst enemy is You. Your Ego is not evil, neither is it your true enemy. Your Ego’s primary job is self-preservation. However, the Ego is highly susceptible to Negative Energy and thinks it’s protecting you when it is actually blocking you.
  3. Ego vs. Spirit: Tips on making the transfer from being Ego-led to Spirit-led.
  4. Freedom from “Religious” Thinking: Most traditional religious exercises do not remove the Ego from the driver’s seat; rather they simply empower it further.
  5. Positive & Negative Energy: How they operate and how to navigate.
  6. True Surrender: Navigating from Negative to Positive.
  7. Surrender vs. Obedience: It isn’t about pleasing God… being You makes God happy.
  8. Discover Your Personality Type: Understand your personality make-up and how your Ego interacts with others.
  9. Find A Reader: Find a Tarot Reader who can help you connect spiritually and guide you through healing and transformation.
  10. Tarot Basics: Understanding Your Reading.
  11. Getting Clarity: Overcoming Negativity… Surrendering to Spirit.
  12. Letting Go of the Past: If you cling to the past you won’t have a future.
  13. Moving Toward Abundance: To get what’s yours you have to know who you are.
  14. Accepting Your True Identity: Surrendering to Your True Self.
  15. Getting Your Wings: Flying above the material.
  16. Out of the Darkness: Taking flight.
  17. Accepting The Ego: Like peeling an onion…

If you peruse the site you will find other pages such as: The Tower; The Reason You Procrastinate; The Addiction/Grief Link; Jail Lessons; Demystifying Enlightenment; The Twelve Steps, and more. May you be blessed in your journey and may it be as quick and as pain free as possible.

Articles are in REVERSE chronological order and are categorized according to topic.

In The Flow

In the last article, we pointed out that “Life begins with Source”. This is the first step in understanding Flow. Begin with Source. In other words, meditate, surrender thoughts and emotions, realize your own Divinity, connect. This is where Life begins. Nothing you want to happen will take place until you connect with Source.

Some would say that you are always connected with Source and, in a sense, this is true. However, we have allowed our minds to have control for so long that stopping the illusion of the Ego with its false beliefs and negative emotions will take concerted effort. Focusing on the material world will generate Negative Energy and create anxiety, sadness and fear. This will create separation between us and the Universe, or as some might say, the illusion of separation. In short, it will lock you into the “Not You” rather than the “True You”.

Another secret to being “In The Flow” is to be in the present moment, or in the Now. This is also known as Mindfulness or Awareness. When we allow our minds to focus on the material comforts, distractions and chores we become unaware of the miraculous events that take place around us on a momentary basis. In other words, we forget who we are. Like the Universe, we are changing moment by moment but if we are locked into the belief that we are doing the same ol’ same ol’, then that is what we will experience.

To realize the newness of each moment is to be aware of the abundance of the Universe. Most of us have beliefs concerning Lack with which we have grown up. We’ve all heard “money doesn’t grow on trees” and “waste not, want not”. Some of us have experienced harsher “realities” that taught us that Life is hard and struggle is a given. This is an illusion of course but our Mind tries to protect us from trauma and it gives us this handy little script to follow in order to keep us “safe”.

One only has to observe nature to realize that no shortage exists in the Universe. A field of flowers, a huge tree with a community of birds twittering away, an endless waterfall, are all examples of abundance. What we forget is that we are also a part of this. We become focused on our world and being in control of it to the point that we are separated from our Source.

Flow does not simply mean getting back in touch with Nature. It means getting back in touch with ourselves. It means discovering our passion and living it. It means facing our demons and emerging victorious. And it means living up to our potential, which is that of a creator of worlds and grand adventures. Flow is about Life. It is about Life teeming with abundance. Your mind will prevent you from finding it because it will take you to the past or try to control the future. Your mind will begin with the problems of the material world and try to get the Spiritual to solve them.

To get into the flow you must connect with Source, let go of figuring out, surrendering doubts, fears and problem solving. You must merge with the Universe around you. You are already part of it whether you know it or not. You must release who you think you are, your past identity, your failures, faults and shortcomings. You must let go of all the negative energy of the past. Become aware of the Now and the newness that surrounds you. Allow the morning dew of a fresh new day to wash over you and prepare you for a brand new start.

Understanding Flow

Flow is one of those concepts that gets tossed around like Surrender and Abundance as if there were some sort of common understanding of the full application of the words. As with all spiritual concepts, the full meaning is far more expansive than a mere word can convey.

In its simplest form, “Flow” has to do with the flow of energy in both the spiritual and physical realms. However, this covers a vast amount of territory and contains many subtle applications. The easiest analogy with which to convey the concept is that of a river. A river flows in one direction and carries objects from one point to another. One may easily identify with the river and become united with it in identity and in action. The difficulty lies in the separation of one’s own identity and that of the river, or Universe.

Technically, according to Zen and Taoist teachings, there is no separation. Yet, most of us find great difficulty in navigating through Life with an unending supply of Joy, Prosperity and Serenity and for the most part we do not wish to live in a monastery in the outer reaches of Tibet in order to experience them.

One Principle of Flow which is quite simple to understand is that “Life begins with Source”. While this may seem like a no-brainer, its simplicity often escapes our day to day comprehension. Since we live in a physical body which is completely enveloped in a material world, our viewpoint tends to be on the material first. As a result, we tend to look to our external world to meet our needs for comfort, love, happiness and security. When our external, physical world fails to meet those expectations, we then turn to the spiritual for answers. This is completely backwards and will always fail. Life doesn’t flow that way. We must remember that Life begins with Source and flows from there, not the other way around.

I often hear people state that one should never say, “I’m broke” or, “I can’t afford that” since it reflects a state of Lack and as a result attracts more Lack. I have even heard some go so far as to say that it confuses the Universe and forces it to give you more Lack. This is absurd. The Universe does not get confused, neither is it ever going to “give” you Lack; besides, You are the Universe.

Lack is Negative Energy. Negative Energy is forceful, controlling and resistant to change by nature. The problem is that our minds are vulnerable to Negative Energy, and from the time we are born, our minds attempt to make sense of the world around us and create an alter-identity which is our Ego. Our Ego is completely tied to the physical/material world and is highly vulnerable to Negative Energy. As a result we often become enslaved to Lack, Addiction, Deception, Ignorance and a whole host of other Negative Energies which restrict us and prevent us from the Life we want.

Once we become awakened to the Spiritual realm, we must shed our Egos and learn to listen to our Spirit and Intuition in order to engage Positive Energy and principles of Life. This is how “Flow” is restored and we become able to live the Life we were intended to have. For this to occur, we will have to focus on the internal, spiritual realm first for our Security, Contentment and Love for this is where they originate. We must also see ourselves as an integral part of the Universe and not a separate entity which is co-dependent on a Higher Source to meet all its needs. In other words, we are co-creators rather than co-dependents. Without this shift in consciousness, we will always be looking for an outside source to meet our needs and fulfill us when it is up to us to do that ourselves.

While most of this may seem to be passive, that is simply an illusion. While it is true that yielding to the “flow” of Positive Energy and Principles requires a letting-go, once this Surrender is made, action will be required in order to follow the prompts of the Intuition and Spirit. Yielding to the mind and focusing on material concerns will create resistance and block the flow.

In order to get into the Flow, it is essential that you know who you are and that you take up your place first and foremost in order to put things in proper perspective.

The Light of Truth

Epiphanies take a while to digest. During the download process, the mind races to assimilate the new information, putting the new puzzle pieces in place, drawing new conclusions and connecting dots. Once the excitement is over, new gaps begin to appear.

Our last discussion revealed that the Will is complicit in aligning with the Ego and resisting alignment with Spirit. According to Alan Watts, the Ego is simply an illusion as is our separation from the Universe, or Source. In other words, The Ego is something we construct in order to deal with the complexities of being part of the vast, complicated Universe. It is the result of our attempt to make sense of the world around us and our role within it.

It was our Will, our “Core Essence”, our “Sentience” or “Self Awareness” that created our Ego as a sort of shield or avatar to protect us from a hostile environment. We are not a victim of our Ego, although through it we may have become entangled in Negative Energies difficult to escape. But it is up to us to re-discover ourselves and engage our powerful, limitless, sovereign, Divine Nature and live according to that nature.

The Revelation…

Resistance is the result of our Mind and Will being out of alignment with Truth and Love, not trusting our own Inner Being and giving in to some thought or belief that is totally false. It is the failure to surrender to our own purpose and personal fulfillment, the ultimate self-sabotage.

The Sacred Fool

So then if we are Divine Beings and part of the Infinite Source, it is in our nature to be Positive Energy. In other words, we are Love, Peace, Joy and Abundance by nature. To go against that nature is to go against ourselves which is resistance. The resistance then is not against something outside ourselves such as God or The Universe. We are in fact resisting ourselves. The only way that we can actually live the life of abundance, true love and total fulfillment is to embrace our real nature and step into the flow of the Universe which contains the divine blueprint, code or DNA specifically for us. Resistance is the result of our Mind and Will being out of alignment with Truth and Love, not trusting our own Inner Being and giving in to some thought or belief that is totally false. It is the failure to surrender to our own purpose and personal fulfillment, the ultimate self-sabotage.

In the end, it’s all about Us. We are the Universe. That doesn’t mean we are to be self-focused. On the contrary, it means that we are part of a larger picture and we have our part to play. But it isn’t something we have to “figure out” or to “get right”. We just need to remember who we are and from whence we came.

Epiphany – Dawn of Truth

And then it happens. You finally realize. You don’t know why you didn’t see it sooner. It was there all the time.

It happened this morning during meditation. I was listening to The River meditation, aware of the fact that if “I” was grateful for my Higher Being, then “I” wasn’t actually my Higher Being. Then I got an image of my Will, my Inner Being (or Spirit) and my Ego standing together. My Will was standing with my Ego and then it occurred to me that it was actually being kept from my Inner Being. “What the hell?” I thought. There actually were things in place that were designed to keep my Will away from my Higher Self.

I mean this was no secret, right? I had written about this. I already knew this. But for some reason I now saw it in a different light. My Will was actually being denied access to my Higher Self! In other words, my Higher Self, or my Spirit, did not have complete freedom to operate my Volition while my Ego operated it without restriction. Now that I think about it, my Ego was acting as a filter; censoring, analyzing, approving or disapproving everything that transpired between my body and spirit and my actual Essence, or Will. While I may have known this on other levels, finally the full picture had emerged.

Suddenly, all of the admonitions by Tarot Readers to “let go”, “stop resisting”, “release” and “go with the flow” made sense. Somehow, deep in my inner core, I had been convinced that my own “Free Will” , or in essence, my core Self, should be entrusted to my Ego and my Ego guarded it fiercely. A series of nearly subconscious thoughts appeared which consisted of, “You should be over there”, “No, you don’t belong there”, “You can’t be there”, “That wouldn’t be right”, which had to do with the location of my Will in alignment with my Higher Self. It was as if I viewed my Spirit as an entity separate from myself and that my Will, or Volition was unworthy of direct access to my Higher Self. All of this took place in a matter of nano-seconds.

It was then that I realized I was FREE! I was finally free to be my Higher Self with unlimited access to Source. I was no longer relegated to the material world, or to my mind, or to my past or previous conditioning. Of course I had to know that all of that had taken place before this revelation could occur, but finally, everything had aligned. It had come one layer at a time and with each removal the vision became clearer.

A Darker Truth…

As I reflected on this revelation and began writing of the experience, a darker Truth began to emerge. I was reminded of an article I had written some time ago entitled “We Made a Decision“. In this article, I pointed out that according to Genesis, it was not the Ego that acted against God’s instructions not to eat from the Tree of Knowledge, rather the Will itself.

I thought about the underlying issues of lack, co-dependency and victim mentality. It is easy to blame the Ego as the culprit and allow my core Self to be innocent and free from responsibility. In fact, this is a pattern in which I have engaged my entire life. I have always wanted to be free from blame and to be guiltless. I have used co-dependency and victimization as excuses for lack and poverty. My Will is complicit with the Ego in not fully surrendering to my Higher Self out of fear of failure and humiliation.

I am not accusing or judging myself. I am simply observing that my Will has not jumped at the chance to align with my Higher Self and access the power that would follow such a decision. The Ego offered protection, albeit with great restriction and great cost. I traded my magnificent, authentic self for a weaker, yet safer version long ago. I didn’t know what I was doing; nevertheless, I gave the orders and my Ego faithfully carried them out. Then, somewhere along the way, I became lost.

I gave my Ego control and it faithfully complied although it was overcome by Negative Energy. I now reclaim my power as my Higher Self and Surrender to my True Nature. I Am That I Am.

Transcendence

Remember how we said that transformation was like peeling an onion? Slowly, one layer peels away and it seems as if nothing changes at all. Then a few more layers and an Epiphany! But wait! The revelation is short lived before you realize you still feel incomplete, unsatisfied. Your physical circumstances haven’t changed and it feels like the Universe is having fun at your expense.

Now your Ego is really getting pissed off and is digging through its tool box to see what it can use next to get back to some sense of “normal”. Lately you have been digging through your past to see what it is that is blocking you from moving forward and sifting through your beliefs to find which ones are holding you back. The problem, of course, is that this cannot continue.

We have been told that The Secret is The Law of Attraction. But some of us have been so enmeshed in poverty, lack, low self esteem and hyper-sensitivity that we cannot get free from our meddlesome Egos long enough to attract Positive Energy.

The Secret to The Secret is living from your Higher Self. It isn’t enough to put an end to negative thinking and try to maintain a positive outlook. The story must end. Until we completely free ourselves from the old narrative of who we thought we were with our limitations, failures, inadequacies and lack, we will continue getting more of the same. That means stepping away from the old and totally embracing the new. This is not about self improvement, self discipline or anything that has to do with dressing up the Ego.

This is about losing it. It’s about finding it. It’s about digging down to the Real You that was locked away so many years ago and stepping out. It’s about dropping the mask and speaking your Truth. It isn’t about simply getting an attitude when things don’t go your way. It’s not about shaming or guilting others, throwing tantrums or even taking your ball and going home. It’s about dropping the facade, expressing yourself, setting boundaries. It’s about Self Respect and Self Love. It’s about knowing who you are.

In order for us to live the Life we deserve, we must become the divine beings we truly are. We must operate in Honor, Integrity and Virtue. This is not possible from the Ego. It is only possible from our divine nature or our Higher Self. The reason we are held back is because we feel that we cannot break away from our Ego. This is who we believe we are. It is all we have known.

But this goes beyond cognitive dissonance. This cannot be fixed by simply replacing a few irrational beliefs. This is going to require metamorphosis. You cannot continue crawling on your belly. You will not be able to go on living in the pond. You are going to have to fly. Without assistance. Without a safety net. Just you.

Peace, Freedom, Joy and Love transcend everything! They are supreme principles of the Universe. They are priceless, invaluable! This is the origin of your Divine Nature. When you step into the flow of these principles you are simply returning to your true nature. Nothing, nothing, absolutely nothing that the Ego can produce compares to these principles and being outside of them is simply Lack.

You use to know this. In your innocence you reveled in this Truth. Somewhere along the way you forgot. You forgot who you were. You believed what you were told. You accepted guilt, shame and limitations. Forget self improvement! Get back to where you belong and everything will clear up.

Liberation

Finally the day arrives when you realize freedom from your Ego. All of the hard work, the mental anguish of fighting resistance, overthinking, negativity, fear, anxiety and self doubt come to an end. The persistence of positive affirmations, repeating the Truth, believing in your authentic Self and listening to Intuition finally pays off.

It arrives as an awareness; subtle, but very real. The nagging, critical voice has been mostly gone but effort had to be maintained to keep it in check. There had been a cloud, a persistent depressing feeling because circumstances weren’t optimal and the Ego wasn’t “comfortable”. The Ego is in a permanent state of resistance and attracts Negative Energy.

One morning, you realize that you don’t wake up with the grumps. The depressing cloud is gone. It isn’t just “absent” like it has been on other occasions. It is completely gone. You had been practicing “loving yourself” and seeing yourself as a marvelous creation with limitless potential. Now, this morning, the Truth has settled in. You are finally “Self Aware”, without doubt, without fear, without discontent.

It is a feeling of power. It isn’t as much “exhilaration” as it is satisfaction. Its like watching someone come to a slow realization that something they had been working on for so long, with the knowledge that it would eventually happen, occurred when they weren’t looking. In my case though, it had been so exhausting that I was too tired to celebrate, along with the fact that I wanted to be sure it was going to stick around this time, even though there was an underlying assurance that this was permanent. I could tell it was different by the marked absence of an attachment to “the past”.

Something that had preceded this event was an acceptance of my ADHD (inattentive type). Whether it is a disorder, an orientation or a Life Path, my Ego had to deal with it and it basically hid it “in the basement” when I was a child. I had worn the mask of conformity and abandoned my True Self. Somehow, this acceptance ended the war that I had waged with myself all of my life, trying to prove that I was worthy while believing I was flawed.

My readings confirmed that a change had taken place and I allowed the rain to fall and wash away the pain of the past as mentioned in the videos above. I am certain there will be more battles and I will have to confront beliefs from the past but a cycle has ended. A new one begins. I still have a lot of unanswered questions but now I know that the answers are waiting.

Letting Go of the Past

It used to really bug me when a Tarot Reader would say, “you’re still holding on to something from your past”, especially when I knew that I had been over my history with a fine-tooth comb. I would go on a rant with the Universe and throw a tantrum saying, “You want me to just take everything to the Union Mission and walk away naked in some arbitrary direction?” I finally realized that it wasn’t “something” from my past of which I needed to let go, rather it was simply “the past”. My Ego lived in the past and constantly played it like an old home movie. I would ruminate, regret and relive events over and over. I also realized that I had beliefs which needed to be tossed out or updated. I was co-dependent and looked for others to take leadership or for someone to rescue. I felt unworthy and settled for less or self sabotaged my own success. Letting go of the past was like peeling an onion… layer by layer. Here are some common “past” items which need to be addressed.

  • Unworthiness: Many are plagued with a vague sense of unworthiness and are unable to connect it with any event or condition of the past. Our worth is determined simply by our place in the Universe and connection to Source. It is not determined by our performance or the valuation of any human being. All thoughts of unworthiness and non-deserving need to be stopped and the Ego told to no longer entertain them.
  • Guilt/Shame: Most sensitive types absorb feelings of guilt and shame at a very young age. This is especially true when growing up in dysfunctional families, but may also occur in social settings such as public school. Traumatic events may contribute to pervasive feelings of guilt and shame as well as diagnosed disorders such as ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome, personality disorders and more. One must learn to forgive one’s self and let go of thoughts and feelings of guilt and shame. This may have to be done repeatedly before it takes effect but this Negative Energy absolutely must be released.
  • Bitterness/Resentment/Hatred: No matter how badly you may have been abused, mistreated or betrayed, holding on to the pain will only serve to keep you down. You must find a way to release the perpetrator into the hands of Justice and Karma and let go of the Negative Energy created by them. You may need to seek the help of a friend or a trained professional, but at some point it must be done. You can trust that when the time is right, the Universe will bring it up along with the help you need.
  • Co-Dependency: This is a big one and it is very common, especially among Sensitive/Feeling types. If you are a Sensor/Feeler and grew up in a home where you had to be responsible for care-giving, or had to take care of a sick, alcoholic or addicted parent then you are Co-dependent. If you need to be liked, validated, needed and cater to others in order to avoid conflict, disapproval and overall discomfort then you are co-dependent. Chances are you are a Highly Sensitive Person and it was inevitable that you would fall into the trap of living to serve others while neglecting yourself. Now it is time to set some boundaries and be the King/Queen/Emperor/Goddess that you truly are. You’re going to have to let go of the “need to be needed” and the reliance on others for validation and enabling. Your mantra needs to become; “It isn’t selfish to put yourself first”.
  • Outdated Beliefs: Lots of “peeling” to do here. Everything from core religious beliefs such as “finding God’s Will” to 3-Dimensional thinking with time limitations and physical/material restrictions must come under scrutiny. Don’t worry, you won’t have to go searching. The Universe will see to it that erroneous beliefs get addressed. As a general rule, thoughts that center your focus away from yourself as the source of your happiness and fulfillment need to be discarded. Whatever you require to be happy, content and fulfilled is in charge of your happiness, contentment and fulfillment. If you allow your Ego to be in charge then you will be completely dependent on material things and never be satisfied. Your Spirit is already happy, content and fulfilled and can find Joy in the smallest of things. Yet, your Spirit is also aware that there is an abundance of anything and everything you could possibly desire without limitation. Old beliefs regarding gender roles, work expectations, time management and many more that we simply “assume” or leave to our subconscious may have to be revisited and adjusted. The key here is to remain in a state of Surrender and not resist the new insights epiphanies that come to you. It is time to shed the old, restrictive skin of the past and transform into the new, re-born beings that we truly are.

Unlocking Your Purpose

Once in a while, on those rare occasions when the planets align, we get it right. We’ve all had those days when things just seem to go our way. Think about those times when you tried something that had a very small chance of working but with almost no thought, you succeeded. Usually it is something very inconsequential, like a basketball shot or kicking something into a container. Part of the reason it worked is because the stakes were low and you had no attachment to the outcome. But, there is another component involved which is of great significance, and which is almost completely overlooked and misunderstood.

Much has been said on the topic of Abundance in regards to Faith, Believing, Attachment, Resistance and Flow. While all of these are important and must be recognized in order to experience Abundance on a regular basis, one essential ingredient is often ignored. That ingredient is Intention. Intention, or Will, is that part of us that is uniquely Us. In other words, when you get down to that tiny spark that makes up the essence of who you are, it includes Intention. It is this spark that, when combined with the energy of the Universe, ignites the magic of creation.

The reason we know that our Will is separate is because we have the ability to override our Ego no matter how persistent or controlling it may be. Even addicts have the ability to overpower the obsession of the Ego for brief periods of time and can defeat their addiction after concerted effort. In fact, it appears that we have the ability to surrender our Will or Intention to either Negative or Positive Energy. We can give permission to our Ego or to our Spirit to direct our steps. If we Surrender our Will to Negative Energy, however, we will be taken in a direction which is opposed to our own best interests.

Of course we are talking about Free Will and the ability to choose a course of action. We are also talking about individual sovereignty and autonomy. We have discussed the difference between Obedience and Surrender and alluded to the issue of Intention. However, what we have not mentioned in previous articles is the connection between Intention and Surrender. At first glance, it may seem that these two concepts are opposed to one another. A deeper look will reveal that just the opposite is true.

For our purposes, Surrender means surrendering to one’s own Divine Nature. It is recognition of the fact that we each contain the divine “spark” of Life that connects us to the Universe. In other words, we are a representation of the Intention of the Universe. The act of surrendering to our nature is an Intention on our part as well. It is often said that we “always have a choice”, which is a reference to the nature of our Free Will. The problem with lumping everything together under the umbrella of choice is that it ignores Intention.

Negative Energy diminishes our ability to choose. In order to “choose” properly, one must have Freedom and Wisdom. Ignorance, Deception, Denial, Poverty, and Disease all restrict one’s ability to choose. Moreover, when it comes to Positive Energy, no better “choice” exists. Intention then, must be aligned with our own divine nature, which is aligned with Positive Energy, which is accomplished through Surrender.

In the above examples, when you kicked the basketball and it went into the hoop, an alignment occurred to which you were mostly unaware. First of all, you envisioned your intended outcome. At some point you thought; “wouldn’t it be cool of this ball went into the hoop?” Secondly, you were unattached to the outcome. In other words, your Ego wasn’t trying to control the situation and make it happen, which is why subsequent attempts never worked. Finally, your Intention connected with a higher vibration and energy which produced the desired results. In other words, you stepped into the Positive flow of the Universe without even knowing it.

The question then becomes how do we make this happen on a regular basis. The first order of business is knowing who we are. Until we become fully convinced that we are divine beings, events like these will only be accidental. Secondly, we must defeat the saboteur: The Ego. Our Ego is immersed in Negative Energy and false beliefs. It is completely tied to the physical realm and a material mindset. It is influenced by society, culture, religion and behavioral conditioning. Overcoming this will take a considerable amount of time so don’t think that you can muster up your “faith” and start knocking down mountains tomorrow. You have to do the work.

You have to dig deep into your inner self and confront negative beliefs, self-doubt, trauma and unforgiveness. You will need to meditate and discover your spiritual identity in order to listen to your Intuition rather than your Ego. You will need to let go of the idea of doing what you are “supposed” to do, or what some superior entity wants you to do. Life is about thriving and being You. You cannot do this if you think that You are your Ego and you are bound by the circumstances and people around you. You must first become enlightened to the fact that you originate from a higher place and that you have a higher purpose. Once you do that, then you simply combine your Intention with all of the resources of the Universe… Then, nothing can stop you!

Healing the Ego

I can remember, years ago, asking God to “integrate” me as I was aware of the deep, inner turmoil I felt and the mask I wore to cover it up. I was weary of the war that waged within me and so tired of “hating” myself for my natural urges and erratic nature. I was highly sensitive but I had a “wild” streak and a tendency to push the envelope. I didn’t know what I was asking God to do, I just wanted to be free from the constant struggle of fighting with myself.

I had learned to embrace my Ego and accept that it had been bruised and twisted. I had forgiven myself, hugged myself and declared love for myself. Yet still something persisted. Something was wrong. Finally, a reading shed further clarity on my struggle.

The negative, nagging voice of my Ego had been largely stopped but I was still having difficulty “hearing”, let alone following, the voice of my Intuition. I was also experiencing an uptick in old, familiar temptations online. I sensed that the Universe was drawing my attention to something. I thought about my distant, turbulent relationship with my mother and the self-rejection it generated. I also delved into the nature of co-dependency and the types of relationships I had attracted.

I finally saw how my own Ego continually sabotaged me and any endeavors toward success and happiness. I realized that, as an infant, I must have been traumatized by some of the conflicts my mother had endured at the hands of my biological father. That explained the underlying, pervasive sense of fear, which had developed before I could remember. I did everything I could to avoid conflict. Not only conflict, but the potential for conflict as well. I kept my opinions, thoughts and beliefs to myself lest I should offend anyone. At home, I was bereft of affection, tenderness and praise. I found it through fantasizing, which had nothing whatsoever to do with human interaction.

At 6:41 in the above video, Yvonne says; “you’ve recognized that this Ego energy is holding you back from the Life you want”. Finally I saw it. It was a cluster of Negative Energy that my Ego had assimilated and engaged. It was like a spiritual tumor, some sort of growth that was restricting me. It was made up of co-dependency, insecurity, overthinking, addiction and fear. I was now at the point where I could let it go.

I immediately went to a guided meditation that I had used and went to work releasing this energy from my Ego. I let it go and allowed my Spirit to expand and fill the void of years and years of Negative Energy. I came to realize that I’m a dreamer and that my imagination isn’t bad or even twisted. My Ego had used my imagination to escape and to create a world that wasn’t full of rejection and pain. I thought of Stan Lee and how he had used his imagination to become successful and fulfilled in his career. It felt good to embrace my creativity as a super power and end the war I had fought for so long.

Embracing Your Ego

Someone recently pointed out that our journey to Rebirth or Transformation is not linear but circular. We don’t simply learn a lesson and move on, never to return. We learn a Truth, have an epiphany, in one set of circumstances and get thrown into another in order to see it from a different angle.

This was brought home to me recently when I used a guided meditation online. In the meditation, I was led to visit my Intuition. Intuition is often depicted as Feminine and I felt a great sense of love and acceptance from a part of my Inner Self. I found this to be quite healing and it changed my outlook substantially since I had already done much healing work in removing Negativity and quieting my Ego.

In this exercise it felt as if my Ego and Spirit were being introduced to each other. I had always viewed my spiritual journey as one of battling against my Ego and trying to overcome its “sinful” and self-defeating ways. I have been at war with myself ever since I had gotten “saved” in a little Pentecostal church before I was even 6 years old. Everything I did after that went under the scrutiny of whether or not it would send me to hell. Unfortunately, my Ego had a rich fantasy life and kept me busy asking for forgiveness before the Rapture took place. I was always looking for fault within myself and trying to earn “gold stars” in order to keep God and everybody else happy.

Some of this was simply my nature as a Life Path 7. Most of it, however, was a result of hyper-criticism combined with a need to be holier than anyone who walked the planet except for the Lord Himself. That, along with my ADD had kept me focused on everything but what I was supposed to be doing at the time. The bad thing was that I never caught on. I kept trying to fit into the corporate, normal, neuro-typical, 9 to 5 routine that every public-schooled, brick-in-the-wall kid I had grown up with was in. Soon I had a family to raise and I wasn’t going to put my kids through the horrors of public school that I had endured. But regular jobs and I just didn’t get along.

I’ve always seen my “being different” as a reason to hate myself. This meditation finally brought me together with my Higher Self and melted years of self-rejection. I had gone through all types of exercises from forgiveness to exorcism to try to heal my inner wounds. You will have to do some work before you can make this journey and see results. Forgiveness must be done. Confronting false beliefs and the stubbornness of the Ego has to be done. Some healing will have to transpire before the Spirit and Ego can unite.

I was tired before I set out on this Fool’s Journey. Since then I have been exhausted of all strength. With these meditations I feel like the war has ended. Maybe now I can focus my efforts elsewhere.

On another note, I took one of those tests on Facebook that reveals different aspects of one’s personality. This one had you click on a pearl to reveal your most dominant trait. My dominant trait turned out to be “Bravery”. During a couple of readings I had been told that a treasure was buried deep inside and that in the discovery of this treasure I would move forward rapidly. While posting the results, it dawned on me that this is a trait which I do possess but I have to be pushed up against the wall before it is seen. I realized that this is the treasure I’ve been waiting for! Lets get this party started!